Life is crazy. It leads you in so many different directions that you sometimes never planned for. I've been on a steady track for quite some time now... slowly rolling down a path that involves a daily lesson in motherhood, steady progression in career and admittedly a mundane lifestyle, for the past 10 years. Of course, there have been a few bumps or twists and turns, but it has always seemed to continue down that track. But, in the past couple of months, my path seemed to circle back around to middle school science class and a boy that I thought never even noticed I was there. To say the very least, I was quite wrong. And now, that boy has not only changed the path I was headed down but has changed the track I was on completely, and I couldn't be happier.
Admittedly, I am not the spontaneous type. I used to be a pretty wild and crazy teenager, to say the least, but in my "adult" years it's hard for friends to even convince me to go out for a night. I never do anything without making plans and when it comes to life-altering changes... forget about it! It takes months for me to even wrap my head around the idea. So, the fact that this man has me so in love with him that I'm packing up everything and moving across the country in three weeks, is completely insane! Yet, at the same time, it all makes perfect sense.
It's a very surreal feeling. I was "okay" before him... living day to day without upset and in a sort of scheduled solitude. But now that he's in my life again, I have no idea how I lived without him for so many years. He surprises me daily with how much more complete he makes me. Even just the thought of being with anyone else is humorous to me. It's not even possible. My previous relationships were just a learning experience, leading up to this man. And the most surreal part of it all... he feels the same way.
What happened to that cynical bitch who vowed that love never truly exists, that it's just a test to find someone you can stand to be with for an extended amount of time? Now I'm a love-sick puppy who is counting the seconds until I get to even speak to him again? What the hell? LOL. Emotions are not supposed to be my forte. I thought that part of me was broken, to be honest. I will probably spend the rest of my life trying to figure out how he broke down all of the walls I had put up like they didn't even exist.
Now, I'm looking forward to the future with overwhelming excitement. I can see my entire life wrapped up in his arms, with the two of us, the kiddos and the metaphoric white picket fence I never thought I wanted and I'm loving every minute of it! I guess this is what love and life is really all about.
