Okay, so I know by most people's qualifications, I'm not "old." But, the fact of the matter is that I'm getting "older." There's no denying it. It's an unavoidable fact that time marches on. But what exactly does "old" mean? Is it just a measurement of how many more aches and pains I have now vs. when I was 18? Is it an indication that I should be at a certain point in my life and progressing at a socially acceptable rate with a family, career, etc.? Does it mean that I should start slapping on age-defying cream when I notice an extra wrinkle in the crease in my eyes when I smile or squint or excersizing like crazy because I've put on 15 pounds since I've moved back to Texas?
Just for grins, I took a test online today to see what my mental age was. The result? 45. 45!!! My brain thinks like a forty-five year old, middle-aged, woman. I'm supposed to be 28 today! Not to mention that I had a child at 15, I've been in multiple car accidents, experimented with various drugs as a teenager and have had multiple other health issues, so my body probably has endured about the same damage as about... hmmm... a 45 year old?
If you ask my mother how old she is, she will always tell you the same thing. She's nineteen. And, she'll tell you without a single, sarcastic inflection in her voice. She... is nineteen. There's nothing else to it. Screw the fact that she was born in the 50's! She has defied time and is still nineteen years old. Why? Because despite all physical ailments, she feels nineteen. "I think, therefore I am." ~ Rene Descartes. I... for the most part, feel like I'm 45.
So, does the fact that I have been on this planet as it has revolved around the sun 28 times, make me 28 or am I 45 because that's how I think and feel?
How about this for an idea: It doesn't matter. I could walk outside and get run over by a speeding UPS truck that is late for a delivery and game over. I'm done. Then my age doesn't matter unless it's being referenced in a conversation involving the disbelief that I was either "taken too early" or that someone "couldn't believe that I made it that long" (depending on who you talk to. LOL). So, while I'm very appreciative of those that have wished me happiness on the day of my birth, I will still live each day as it is my last. Happy and greatful for the best friends and family in the world. And that... my friends... is a fact. ;o)
