From the moment we are born, we are taught that there is a distinct difference between boys and girls (other than the obvious difference in gender related body parts). Girls are supposed to be "delicate" while boys are bred to be "rough and tumble." As we grow, we notice that there are additional differences, with the main one being hormones. Girls are more "sensitive" and boys... well, boys just seem to be dense, testosterone driven morons during puberty. I always prided myself on being able to somewhat understand a guy's point of view, at least more than the average girl, and was pretty convinced I had guys pegged and could understand what they were thinking on an average basis. And then, at the age of 27, I decided to move back to Texas and not only live with 1, but 2 fully grown men (my fiance and his best friend/our brother of claims, Josh). And, do you know what I've learned in the four short months the three of us have been living together? Everything I thought I knew about guys is...
WRONG!!!
They are WAY worse than I thought! The two of them can sit on the couch and joke about how they hit each other in various body parts with a sledge hammer or what happened when a certain type of barbed wire wrapped around them while they were building a fence in the middle of nowhere and how much blood they lost! And they LAUGH at it! It's apparently funny for reasons I can't even fathom!
And, the words "I'm Bored," are words I've come to fear. "I'm Bored," usually means that something is going to be destroyed, taken apart, built, painted, altered, etc... in other words: One Big Mess! When the two of them get an off-the-wall idea and start plotting it out, I only have one word of advice. Beware! At which point, you can only do one of three things: 1. Try to convince them to do something else (which is pointless and you WILL lose that battle). 2. Offer to help (and possibly run the risk of becoming an accomplice if things go wrong). or 3. Sit back and try to find something else to occupy your time while they do whatever it is they are going to do and hope for the best. Personally, I've learned that the third option is the safest. In the four months that we've lived together, I can count on one hand the nights we've had that they DIDN'T get into something. Luckily, both of them are artistic (which is awesome) so their outlets usually flow in that direction but are also pretty costly at the same time.
I've also learned that titles such as "fat head," "dick," "ass," "dumb blond," "moron," "retard," "bitch," "pansy," etc. are actually terms of endearment! With these country boys, if they aren't making fun of you, they don't like you... seriously. Thankfully, I'm called "fat head" or "prostitutor" (don't ask) a lot around here. ;o)
This next lesson I've known for quite some time... it's my puberty-stricken daughter that has recently learned from this one. DO NOT, under any circumstances, ask any of these boys if the outfit, jeans, shirt, dress, etc. you are wearing makes you look fat! One, or both of them, will yell out from the other room, without even having seen you, "YES!" at the top of their lungs. They have no tact. Period. LOL... I've witnessed my daughter ask this honest question, expecting a certain response and then being blindsided by their verbal, one-worded assault. I'm sure this makes me a horrible mother, but I must say... it was HILARIOUS! Needless to say, I don't think she'll be asking that question again. Hehehehe...
Also, "determination" is an understatement with them. You cannot tell them that they can't do something. You WILL be proven wrong. Even if they didn't really have any intention of completing said "impossible" task, they will damn sure do it if you tell them they can't. Need to take off a tire to fix something on a motorcycle but don't have the proper way of lifting it? No problem! Sit back and watch the two of them perform the act of taking a crappy-ass jack and a piece of wood on top of the jack to lift the bike off of the ground while one of them fixes what needed to be fixed and the other one holds the teetering, heavy-ass bike so it doesn't fall. That was last just night's project. *shaking my head*
And, they can fix pretty much anything. Really, they can! For example, our destructive puppy decided to shred the power cord to the laptop into four pieces just recently. This is when I would usually run around the house trying to kill the dog, realize that the laptop is what I work on and is our main source of income, almost cry and then try to figure out how in the hell we're going to pay for another one when we are flat broke. Wrong again... Josh comes home, takes a look at the cord(s), and says "I can fix it." Fifteen minutes later... Bam! Cord is usable once again. I love it!!! Cabinet in the kitchen won't stay closed? Brendon says, "I can fix it." Five minutes later... Bam! Cabinet is closing properly. Computer not working? Either one of them: "I can fix it." Twenty minutes later... Bam! Computer is working better than it was before. It's like having two handymen on call 24/7. This is great!
I love them both dearly and they have taught me a lot more about guys than I really ever wanted to know. LOL. The best part is, even though the two of them can drive me crazy from time to time, it's always an adventure in our house. I can't wait to see what adventure today brings... :o)
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